Two shootings took place in 2020-pandemic and 2023-war. I describe these two years as the starting point of losing myself and finding something new. The difference between the 2020 and 2023 versions of the project is the presence of Home in 2020. That is why I crossed out the house from the name.

During the shooting I was thinking about the level of cortisol, the steroid hormone of stress, in my blood. The reasons for an increase in cortisol in the blood can range from boredom and everyday stress to global emotional upheaval.

The high level of cortisol (also known as Cushing's syndrome) can include a variety of symptoms that tend to throw a person into dangerous hormonal and visual changes. The first signs may be anxiety, depression, cognitive difficulties, muscle weakness, loss of emotional control, or reproductive dysfunction. You may feel like you are slowly sliding down from normal self-awareness, losing control of your body, emotions, actions, and thoughts.

I felt this in 2020 and 2022. Standing at a dead end, my brain was searching for a new "me". This intimate process revealed a vulnerable and abandoned part of me that came to the forefront and took control of the situation. Here are "I" and "mine". No home.